I thought about a few different topics for this post, but had a hard time getting any of them “on paper”. The last week of March was a roller coaster – it went so quickly after starting out with the best energy – a whole feeling of renewal, rebirth and great things to come. I think it was something to do with Mercury *wink* and also the impending Spring. The end of the week, however, had all the makings of a raggedy-ass retrograde you read about all over IG.
So here we are, on the first of April and I feel like I just need some rest and reset time. I’m reminding myself why I want to continue pursuing these awesome things I do outside of work. I know it will be worth it in the longterm to put in the major grind-efforts now. But this week, I think it’s OK to just give myself grace, patience and a little rest.
As an empath, and an authentic human who truly cares, I find myself particularly rattled by inauthenticity, lies, manipulation, and also, when my words don’t land right with someone else. I work hard to be clear and honest and if I come across sideways, I try to fix it without backpedaling or hedging the truth. I found myself really challenged recently by people’s agendas and manipulation of a story to become a victim, to get a leg up, and maybe “win” for a brief moment in time.
I felt angry, I felt victimized, I felt insulted and talked down to. Worst of all, I felt a little betrayed.
So I did what any strong, competent, capable, stable woman would do…I drank wine, I cried, I had a few temper tantrums LOL. But by the end of the week, when I got home, I also felt really lucky.
Did this bish just say “lucky”!?!?! Is she crazy??
Maybe a little lol, but yeah, I’m lucky af. I’m lucky because my humans are the best humans. My people, friends and family, local and not, rally like no other. They may tell me about myself when necessary and always talk through a whole situation instead of just jumping to my rescue, but at the end of the day, they know my heart, my intentions, my abilities. They know ME. And they love me. Fiercely.
I’m lucky because I’m surrounded by goofy, cuddly, four-legged hairballs that want to play, hug, and love endlessly. They don’t give a shit about anyone but us. We’re THEIR people, their whole world, and we are so lucky they’re in ours.
And most of all, I’m lucky because “home” is the most wonderful place I can imagine. I realized that I can come home and nothing else matters. Yep, I can have a bad day, people can be mean, people can lie and screw you over, but when I’m home, none of that needs to matter. We laugh, we joke, we kiss, cuddle, cook, and have dinner together every night. Why would I let any other shit matter during those beautiful moments?
These days, it’s even more clear to me just how lucky I am to have such a beautiful home life, love life, and support system, because life wasn’t always that way. Not but four or so years ago, life was a struggle. I was surrounded by chaos. I went through a nasty divorce, I made some terrible choices, I surrounded myself with some people who were not as concerned with my well-being as they pretended to be…hell, I wasn’t as concerned with my own well-being as I should have been.
So this life, this beautiful, messy, stinky, dog-hair covered life…this is AMAZING. This is a gift. I love myself. I am so loved. I am totally supported. I make enough money and have a fulfilling job, surrounded by so many incredible people. I have an opportunity to do what I love outside of “work”, fulfilling my purpose through coaching and touching others’ lives. I am seriously living the dream, so I say it again….I feel so. damn. lucky. ESPECIALLY during those shitty, rough, frustrating, tear-filled weeks.
So, wrapping it up – a reminder (mostly to myself) to feel grateful and don’t sweat the shit that doesn’t matter. Wishing you all a beautiful April, a joyful Spring, and so much more. We’re looking forward to an upcoming trip next week, the Bearded One’s birthday, and time with family….all this to celebrate a beautiful Spring season and to remind me how very lucky we are each and every day. And a big thanks toyou for reading…you all bless me by being part of my online family! XOXO