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Your Self

The Overlooked Secret to Better Self-Care

sign on pink background: Self-Care isn't selfish

September 7, 2020

I’m Audry.
An empathic, crystal-loving 30-something who is committed to empowering women and making the world a better place. Dog mom, moon priestess, & yoga pants for life.
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sign against pink background: self-care isn't selfish

Self-Care may be the buzzword of the decade…seriously. And while it can get a little obnoxious to see it used in every single IG post ever (mine included LOL), there’s a good reason why it’s so damn popular: because it matters.

AND because we don’t do it enough.

Our Anti-Self-Care Actions

It’s so easy to drive ourselves to exhaustion and overwhelm. It’s easy to serve others and to give until we’re totally empty. Those things are easy. Especially for women. Especially when it comes to people we care about.

So if those consuming and intense actions are so easy, why is something as “simple” as caring for ourselves so damn hard??

Why Self-Care Feels Hard

It’s hard because we’re overlooking one key element of self-care. One that’s not even discussed most of the time and certainly doesn’t fit into the pretty box of journaling, bubble baths, and treat yo self weekends.

We’re overlooking the fact that setting boundaries is in fact a key part of self-care.

One could argue it’s the most important part because, without boundaries, you often can’t create time and space to care for yourself at all.

Why Boundaries Matter to Self-Care

Setting boundaries (or not) can affect every part of our lives – our Health, anxiety, stress, mental wellness. It can also, how we care for others, which is often where it gets sticky because that’s where we may need boundaries the most.

So why don’t we set boundaries when it comes to our self-care?

Why Boundaries are Hard

We’re not built for it. We’re actually raised to do the opposite, to care for others to be giving, quiet, considerate, kind, and submissive. Ah yes, the patriarchy. Cutting us off from everything, including ourselves, and expecting us to pour from a cup until it runs completely dry.

It Affects Everything

Another important point that’s often overlooked is how deeply self-care and protecting our boundaries are related to our success, at work, at home, and in life. You think you can keep giving and going until you’re totally wiped out and still bring your whole badass self to work? Think again. How far are you really going to get if you’re constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, and pouring from an empty cup?

You’re not imagining it when you’re mind feels foggy and you feel like you just can’t give anymore. It’s not just in your imagination that this is holding you back in every area of your life. And that includes being seen and recognized for your full potential in a professional environment.

Sh*t Just Got Real.

So now the radical self-care movement becomes something bigger. It becomes not only an opportunity to heal ourselves but also to reclaim ourselves. As women, as humans, as worthwhile beings.

So we can say f*ck the patriarchy (no, this doesn’t mean we hate men, more on that later) by making time for yourself.

F*ck expectations and obligations and set clear boundaries that protect your energy and your wellness. Start to heal yourself and the women in your world by making time for yourself. Then start to dismantle these systems of endless shoulds and expectations that are most certainly put in place to hold you back.

TLDR:

Self-care can make you better in every aspect of your life. Better at caring for people you love, better at being yourself and feeling happy, and more successful at work.

Setting boundaries and fiercely protecting them allows us to reset our self-care and make sure that everything we give of ourselves is high-quality and intentional.

By setting these boundaries and caring for ourselves, we start to show up more confident, intentional, and AWESOME.

We reclaim what has been taken from us, and we start to fight the systems that are holding us back. We begin to take up space and see our own happiness and success grow exponentially.

Now tell me below, what boundaries will you put in place to protect your self-care and wellness today?

And for a little bonus, check out my Self-Care Guide that gives you 26 actionable items and a challenge for each one. And get started today! Self-Care really can’t wait!

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